find therapist for relationship issues in portland, Oregon
Marriage, Relationship & Couples Counseling in Portland, Oregon
I provide couples counseling, and I’m based in Portland, Oregon.
I became interested in couples counseling after witnessing how unsatisfactory relationships negatively impact mental health and ultimately reduce quality of life. Almost every client who seeks counseling for anxiety and depression typically feels unsafe or insecure in their relationships; or, has had difficulty finding partners to meet their needs and accept them for who they are. Unsatisfactory relationships are painful because we all need others for survival, safety, and joy.
People thrive in secure and loving partnerships! As a helping professional and a human, I believe in the healing power of connection. One of my roles as a relationship counselor is to listen, understand, validate, create awareness, encourage self-compassion, and help couples develop new skills and behaviors. I engage in empathetic dialogues with my clients to understand each person deeply. My approach in listening carefully and attuning to my clients, creates a trusting and compassionate connection that is essential for healing.
Poor communication is the number one reason couples seek marriage counseling
How often have you shared something emotional and vulnerable and felt frustrated, sad, or lonely because your partner didn’t listen or misunderstood you?
I have experienced this in my own relationships and am guilty of doing the same. I learned through my training that having intentional dialogues at the right time and with the right objective is a skill that can be developed and sustained for life! For example, I invested in my relationship to become a better communicator and sensitive partner by attending a ‘Getting the Love You Want Workshop’, which was facilitated by imago therapist Trainer Maya Kollman and her partner, Barbara. Maya and Barbara have been together for 40 years and have been providing Imago Relationship Therapy and facilitating Imago workshops for couples for thirty years. After completing the workshop, my relationship grew stronger. I learned new relationship skills, identified, and processed my childhood wounds and through the Imago exercises, I was able to identify deep hurts that were manifesting in the present and jeopardizing my connection with my partner. Consequently, I became passionate about learning Imago Relationship Therapy and enrolled in Imago Clinical training.
Imago Relationship Therapy
Imago’s theory proposes a cyclical framework for all relationships. It asserts, for example, that romantic love lasts a mere 18 months; this is the initial period of a new relationship that is full of excitement, passion, and joyful connection. During this romantic phase, partners are fully invested in their relationships, show up for each other and bring out their best. This is a beautiful time, and such a deep and rewarding connection with another human makes us feel safe, seen, and excited. We feel complete and alive!
However, over time, couples enter a new stage called the “power struggle”; this emerges as “romantic love” naturally fades, and conflicts begin. Around this time, couples start to notice their differences and have arguments. Our partner’s qualities, which we initially found charming and appealing, suddenly become annoying or disappointing.
In my practice, I often see couples who have been together for three years or longer and seek counseling to help them negotiate their differences and stay connected during the conflict. The power struggle begins when we say to each other: “Don’t be who you are, be who I need you to be!”
Attempts to change one another inevitably lead to increased defensiveness, negativity, criticism, despair, or indifference. During this period, the “space between” or the relationship quality/energy feels unsafe, hostile, and heavy. Partners begin to struggle with self-regulation, can lash out at each other, become passive-aggressive, or say hurtful things. During this power struggle phase, our childhood wounds get activated, attachment styles collide, and insecurity and anxiety from the past creep in. This can often be the point where a couples therapist can step in to help couples identify entrenched patterns and unresolved hurts that are impacting loving connection.
How do I apply Imago Relationship Therapy in couples counseling?
As a relationship counselor, I provide tools to help couples pass through the power struggle stage, see each other for who they are, and increase self-regulation to avoid hurting each other during conflicts. Imago is a process-oriented therapy, meaning that I focus on the here and now to create a safe space between the couple in sessions.
I encourage my clients to talk freely about unmet needs and strong feelings while discouraging the receiver from interrupting and getting activated. I apply a communication strategy comprised of pre-structured dialogues to bring empathy and validation to communication between partners.
My ultimate goal is to teach couples how to use Imago tools in between sessions to avoid negative or damaging communication patterns and focus on creating the relationship they both want and deserve.
Schedule Online Consultation
Counseling Rates
Individual Counseling Sessions: $155
Couples Counseling Sessions: $155
Using Your Insurance (Out-of-Network Reimbursement)
Although I am not currently in-network with any insurance plans, many clients choose to work with me and utilize their out-of-network benefits through their insurance provider. If you have a PPO or POS plan, you may be eligible for partial reimbursement for our sessions.
To support this, I offer superbills – itemized receipts that include all necessary information for you to submit a claim to your insurance. Superbills include session dates, CPT codes, diagnosis codes, and provider information.
Please note:
- You are responsible for paying the full session fee at the time of service.
- Reimbursement is not guaranteed and depends on your individual insurance plan.
- I recommend calling your insurance provider in advance and asking about your out-of-network mental health benefits..
If you have questions or need support submitting a superbill, I’m happy to help guide you through the process.
Sliding Scale
If my fee is a barrier, I may offer a sliding scale under certain circumstances. Please inquire about the availability of my sliding scale slots when you first contact me.
Cancellation Policy
If you cannot attend a session, please cancel at least 48 hours beforehand. Otherwise, you may be charged for the full rate of the session.
Any Other Questions?
Please get in touch with me for any additional questions you may have. I look forward to hearing from you!